Date: 09/01/15 08:41 pm Title: Fifth Confession
I really like this story, I think it's cute. I'll be watching for an update!
Date: 06/04/15 02:45 pm Title: Fourth Confession
I wanna see Sousuke next I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH ^////^
Author's Response: Aw, he secretly wants to see you too!! Sadly his chapter isn't next, but we're close!!! *Clasps hands together and bows head* Just bare with me until then!!! Alo thank you very very very much for reviewing!!
Date: 06/03/15 01:01 am Title: Fourth Confession
Ahhh I was slow on the uptake, but I see! Haru likes being free and Rea-tan gave those fishes freedom! *smacks forehead* I like this chapter too, it seems very like him. ^^ And they're all such bros to give Haru his moment. :D
Author's Response: Haha, don't worry others were as well, but what matters is that you got it. ^__^ Aw, thank you, I will admit it's difficult to keep him in character, but I still try. Lol, yes while each guy harbors feelings for Rea and want her to pick them, but in the end they're mature about the situation. I'd say more on the matter, but I don't want to spoil the future chapters. Thank you so much for reviewing, warms my heart to read your comments.
Date: 06/03/15 12:12 am Title: Fourth Confession
OMFG THAT CONFESSION THO. I JUST IMAGINE HARU LIKE CONTEMPLATING FOR DAYS ON HOW HE SHOULD CONFESS XD Like "Hmm how do I express my love for rea while making it a pun for water?" PLS IM CRYIN
also, I do think there was some fluff in here, even if you don't think so. Incredibly cute and cuddly, even for the stoic swimmer if I do say so myself. I do have a few comments and critique, if you don't mind? Beautifully written, like all your other chapters, but I want you to note something and keep this in mind when you write: rea-chan's appearance is a bit...how I should say, given, rather than chosen. What I mean is, and this is rather subtle but significant to me since (nothing goes by me unnoticed...! Soemtimes.) I just don't have the same skin type as rea-Chan. I notice this isn't just this chapter, but others as well. For example, sometimes you say her face is as "red as a tomato," and such. I have to point out it makes the readers feel left out with a person who's complexion is darker. (If you haven't caught on, mines as well XD) I didn't take much thought on it at first, but for me at least, it's starting to bother me since my face doesn't allow me to visibly blush.
There are other cues though you can use to express rea's embarrassment, like you did in this chapter. Wandering of eyes, stuttering, shuffling of feet, etc. I love your style and writing, but we can all improve, and while this is a small little detail, it can make a huge difference in how you incorporate your readers. This is just a keep in mind though, so be a little more careful. That's really the only aspect I notice isn't consistent with the whole second POV. Wow, that was long I'm sorry ;-; Just wanted detailed explanation for you and such, since some critique is too vague I notice when people are trying to be polite. But yeee.
And while Haru was kept in character, I feel as if he wouldn't have grabbed her hand at the beach. I understand he is trying to pursue her, but I have trouble imagining him doing that without being her lover. I feel like it should've been more like him staring at her hands, as if wanting to hold them, something like that. BUT the apology at the end of his action made it cute, and made him a tad bit more in character. Haru is a REALLY hard character to write for, so I'm giving you my opinion based on my perspective. Oh dear, it seems I've ranted a few times. Forgive me! Orz I love you authoress-chaaa~n! *jump hugs* Keep up good work even though it always is T_T
Author's Response: Lol, yes will actually he probably already had it figured it, but you know Haru his mind is always on swimming. XD
I did realize that I use the "red as a tomato" or "your face became a bright red" basically anything that describes the reader as light skin and I'm trying to move away from that. Like you stated there are other ways to describe the reader's shyness and I really, honestly appreciate that you pointed this out and even gave me more then enough pointers/hints/tips on how to improve. I promise I'll keep your advice in mind and do my best to improve. ^__^Yeah Haru is a difficult person to keep in character and to b honest I kind of winged it toward the end of chapter. I wasn't satisfied with this chapter, but I hope Haru's later chapter will do this one justice. I totally need to rewatch Free or look more into Haru's character. But as always thank you so much for your encouraging and informative reviews.
Date: 05/25/15 10:43 am Title: Third Confession
All I could think is 「No way!」(z91;▽z91;)
So cute! Loved the chapters! :)
Author's Response: And you're just so cute leaving me such a cute review about cute chapters.
Date: 05/25/15 01:31 am Title: Third Confession
Update more I wanna see more of the guys in the story, then the jealously start growing in the guys also
You should also write from Free Eternal Summer Special episode in this story XD
Author's Response: I'm totally not organized when it comes to this story like bits and pieces pop into my head so suddenly and I write them down. Of course I organize them properly later on and surprisingly it's turned out find. XD Anyways I have two more chapters written out and I just need to re-edit and proof read before posting them. That's all I'm saying otherwise I'll spoil everything.
Date: 05/24/15 11:32 pm Title: Third Confession
rip busy rEADER OMG MOMO PLS THAT CONFESSION THO. AND HIS STUBBORNNESS GAAHHH IDK WHY THATS SO CUTE PLS. Seijuro's just like bruhh you're doing it all wrong. Pls that's cute. Good older brother~
PLS YOU DID MOMO SO SOON IM HAPPY I DIDNT EXPECT THIS GDI I LOVE IT X3 also when Momo just randomly hugs rea-chan from behind is just...so cutE PLS. MY HEAAAART.
you do so well with fluff jeez. It always manages me to feel...well, fluffy inside (HEYOOOOOOO). Good job, lovlie. I'm still in awe that this series is dedicated to ol' me. Such beautifully written chapters...for me. Honestly, I'm just...really, really thankful. And happy and...I dunno, it's weird how like... honored I feel. Like...I just really feel like you're such an awesome friend and likeep e...how did I get someone so cool and thoughtful? But, I digress. As always, you're awesome. So is your writing. Yknow I think you motivate me a lot too. Sometimes when I feel my writing might not be good enough, you review to prove me other wise. And for that, I am completely and utterly thankful. Can't thank you enough for it. ANYWAYANYWAYANYWAY. I'm so CHEESEY GDI. But anyway. Keep up the great work~
Author's Response: He was like the next person on my list even before you told me you liked him. XD I felt like it was only right to include Seijuro since well in Season 2 he still pops up every now and then. And to be honest I like how he's always encouraging others to do their best. Like when he yelled at his old swim team because they weren't cheering Sousuke on. That right had me crying tears of joy. Don't ask why because I don't even know.
Momo just seems like the type of person who would hug people from behind or at least the girl he likes.You should feel special because I only ever dedicate stories to really good, honest to god, wonderful people like you. Like you're always so nice and friendly and helpful and this is just a small way of me being able to show my thanks. You're an amazing friend and I super happy to have someone as wonderful you as a friend. Aw, Tree I had no idea my reviews could do that. You do the same for me like when you review a story of mine I just get so hyped like I'm beyond ecstatic.
Date: 05/24/15 10:33 pm Title: Third Confession
I love how Cute Momo confession made for the Reader , and Seijuro trying to help his little brother with hints XD Lol
Looks like a Will you marry me type saying ^^
But Momo does it his own way ;)
Author's Response: Lol, yes Momo is such a cutie. :D I think he was nervous because he's not the only one after Rea's heart, there's so many other guys, but at the same time he's excited to be around her. Haha Seijuro just wants the best for his little bro even if he does end up embarrassing Momo in the process.
Thank you for reviewing. :D
Date: 05/23/15 01:36 am Title: Second Confession
OMG I LOVE THIS STORY WITH THE ALL THE GUYS TO THE READER ^////^
Nagisa, Makoto, Haru , Rin , Rei , Sousuke, Momotarou, Kisumi, Nitori *doki doki* for ALL the guys in love with the Reader ^3^~
Author's Response: Haha, yeah all the guys will get a chance to confess to Rea.
Date: 05/22/15 11:16 pm Title: Second Confession
OMFG HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS MY HEART IS LITERALLY DOING THE DOKI DOKI PLS I CANT EVEN OMFG IM SO BAD AT DESCRIBING LOVE BUT YOU JUST. ITS PERFRCT. UTTERLY PERFECT. NOT GONNA LIE I ACTUALLY FUCKING SQUEALED LIKE SOME KIND OF PSYCHOTIC OBSESSIVE WEIRDO GDI
That aside. Very well done owo I'm so impressed honestly, and just...super good woowwooooooo. Like so cute and just...Makoto, you and your words gdi how even are you that cute BLEEGHH.
Also, yes, Kisumi would be AWEHSUMMM. But I prefer the captain's little brother. Yknow the captain who rlly likes gou? His little brother is the cutest gaahh I just love him x3 his weird nickname is the otter or something? So dorky xD if ya can't write for him tho, Kisumi is alright with me~ keep up the good work lovlie ^_~
Author's Response: Lol, to be honest I have no idea how I even pulled it off. When it comes to Makoto I just write and well the result is something always cute.
Momo? Yeah I already planned on adding him. :) Kisumi is a character that demands attention. XD Honestly I have so much fun writing this.Thanks so much for reviewing and your support.
Date: 05/19/15 02:06 am Title: First Confession
Yay more Free! stories!! I adore how you write for these boys. If you feel up to it I think multiple endings would be really awesome (*shot for selfishness*)
Nagisa is super cute in this. I can't wait to see how the rest pan out. :)
Author's Response: Oh gosh. ^///^ Well I'm glad I write them to your liking. Haha, I kind of figured most people would want multiple endings, but that's fine with me. Personally I enjoy writing for most of the Free characters, so yeah multiple endings it is.
Date: 05/18/15 10:59 pm Title: First Confession
OH MY GOD ALL OF MY YES PLEASE. JUST. JUST NAGISA YOU ARE TO O CUTE I SWEAR TO GOD PLEASE.
When I saw this was dedicated to me I SWEAR MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT AJSJFJSK THIS IS SO ENDEARINGLY SWEET AND AWESOME YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAAAA. also rea-chan at the end is actually me like "NAGI SA STOP" like I did that earlier today when my dad was calling me cute and I was just DAD NO S TOP but I was like alSO NO CONTINUE
I'm not sure, I think maybe you should have multiple endings. Its up to you of course, but I'm writing a story that is similar to this as far as love triangles go (well in this case, yours is more of a...circle xD) and I plan on making there like two endings or something. Both are gonna be good I think, so yee. I dunno, stick to your gut and do whatever you think is best though. I'm just commenting based on my opinion.
Gaaahh I'm so very flattered...! I HONESTLY AM REALLY GIDDY RN THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY DEDICATES AN ENTIRE SERIES TO ME AND THINKS ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO WANT TO DO THIS. UGHH IM SO GLAAAADD AND HAPPY AND YOU MADE MY DAY BETTER PLS. I'm also anxious as to what's gonna happen next, and once again, you've pulled me in with your spectacular writing! As always, keep up the great work dear!
Author's Response: It's like eight boys, haha. XD Wait do you want Kisumi included as well because I can add him if you want? Just say the word and I'll do it and don't you dare say it's up to me. Remember I'm writing this for you!
How could I not dedicate this to you? You're a huge part of the reason as to why I've been updating some of my other fics. Honestly just talking to you is enough motivation for me.Well for one this fic isn't going to be like others. I don't plan on dragging the confessions out like you know how in some stories it take forever for one guy to confess. Well in this fic each chapter is a confession since Rea already knows that the boys like her. I'm sure some are curious about the bet so I'll dedicate a chapter to just the bet and how it came to said bet.