Date: 06/12/15 01:23 pm Title: Teasing Minx
Oh my. That was longer and more graphic than I expected. (//A//) Not that I have any qualms about it lol. I like this fic already!
Author's Response: Huehuehuehe, glad to hear it! Thank you for reading and reviewing~! <3
Date: 06/12/15 12:52 am Title: Teasing Minx
My my my.....very good first chapter. Captured my attention and complete focus until the end. Can't wait to see how everything goes down the next chapter. Great work
Author's Response: Thank you~!!! <3 I'm glad you liked it! <333
Date: 06/11/15 07:18 pm Title: Teasing Minx
I...really fucking enjoyed this. I'm hot and bothered now, oh dear. The metaphors and similes used in this are remarkable, and your descriptions are a sizable amount and not so lengthy to the point where you're focused more on the details of things rather than it adding to the plot instead. Sometimes as authors it's hard not to do that, but we have to learn how to not give everything away and ease into it a bit. And you my dear, have done a very good job of that~
V-Very dirty masturbation scene, I must say. I like how it's from Sousuke's POV and again, the description really paints a picture and sort of...provokes my imagination. Like, it asks for more of my imagination, but you also make sure we're kind of in line with what we're imagining? Make sense? Like...it adds to my imagination is what I'm saying. My imagination is extensive as it is, but this really nourishes it. Basically your wording fucks my imagination into the bed. In a really hot, good way.
I'm not gonna lie, this was seriously hot. Erotic, but not blunt, yet very suggestive. Very good elements an author should have for a sexual fic, especially for a first chapter. The only thing you should work on is your grammar a little. Your writing skills are amazing, but some of the word usage isn't in the correct tense or form, etc, and it kind of takes away from the story. If you'd like, I'd totally be your beta reader~ Especially with a perfect fic like this OwO
I hope you found my comments helpful, dearie. Forgive me if my critique was too harsh! orz Keep up the amazing work~
Author's Response: SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!! With work and trying to get stuff ready before Yaoi-con I haven't even read fanfiction, let alone worked on some, haha. ( ; n ; ) THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for this review I've reread it a couple of times. <3 As for you being a Beta-reader; YES PLEASSSSEE. I'm so lazy that I barely reread my works. Which is bad since they end up with a lot of mistakes in them then. qq Also nooo! Your critique was so nice! I've never had a a Beta-reader before so I'm unsure how this works, hahahaaa. orz My email is "email@example.com" feel free to message me if you're still interested! THANK YOU AGAIN QT!!!
Date: 06/11/15 11:12 am Title: Teasing Minx
So considering I've only watched a few episodes of Free, I really don't know the characters all that well (will have to do something about that ^^"), so I can't say anything about the characters. But I've never really read a reader insert like this before. I really liked how you've started this, and can't wait to read the rest :)
Author's Response: I need to finish Free! as well, haha. I have a few episodes left from the second season. ( ' u'); So your not alone! Thannkkkk you so much for taking the time to read and review my story! I hope to not keep you waiting too long for the next one! <3