A/N: After a long hiatus, I am back to work on this series. Enjoy and have fun!
Kid Chorus: Aka Pella, Kip Ling, Bow-Haired Girl, Crooked-Mouth Boy
Chorus: In the not so distant future, somewhere in 2015,
Loud Kiddington and his Histerian pals are trapped in an evil scheme
They tried to survive Chris McClean
Just an evil host who is truly truly mean
From his hideout below, he set his sights above
Just to torture all the Histerians in the satellite above
Loud: GET US DOWN!!!!!
Chris: I'll sent him cheesy movies, the worst I can find,
Chorus: La, la, la
Chris: He had to sit and watch them all and I'll monitor his mind.
Chorus: La, la la
Now keep in mind that Loud can't control where his movies are gotta end,
He'll try to keep his sanely with the help of his Histerian friends.
(Screen whirls and stop, a title comes on screen)
Chorus: Histerian Roll Call!
Cambot! (You're on!)
Charity Bazaar! (I'm not happy.)
TOOOOAAAAASSSSTTTT!!!! (Ask me if I care!)
If you wondering how they eat and breath, or maybe if this full of whacks,
Just repeat yourself it's just a parody I should really just relax!
(Title comes on screen along with a big planet thingy)
Chorus: For...Mystery Histeria Theater 3000.
(We go through the door sequence just like in the actual show. We see...the Histerians not around but what appears to be chambers.)
Computer Voice: Statsis chambers opening in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...opening now.
(Soon the chambers open as the hosts came out, yawning)
Pule: Wow, talk about an eight hour nap.
Loud: Yeah. (to camera) Oh, hey everyone. I am Loud Kiddington, welcome to the Satellite of Time. My friends and I decided to take a little nap before the next experiment.
Charity: (notices) Wait, why is this area a mess?
(The four saw the whole are a big mess)
Toast: Dudes! I thought we clean this place up. Pule?
Pule: Don't blame me! I made sure everything is clean up before we went to sleep for eight hours!
Loud: Did we have any messages?
(Charity yelps as she saw some of the machines blown up or expired)
Charity: These machines are broken! But they were doing fine yesterday!
Loud: (realizes) Wait a minute. How long were we out?
(The gang checks the computer and looks shocked)
Loud: Guys, we weren't sleeping for 8 hours. But we were sleeping for...
All: EIGHT YEARS!!!
Toast: Dudes! What the hell?!
Pule: Did we missed something?!
Loud: (to camera) Folks, we will right back once we figure this out!
(Cut back to the cast, talking)
Charity: Oh great. We were sleeping for eight years! Stalin must be thinking we're dead by now.
Loud: Yeah... (pause) Wait, if he thinks we're dead, why is the ship still moving?
Toast: (realizes) Dude, you're right! He would've blown the ship up with us on it by now!
Loud: We better call down to the planet.
Pule: Damn. (Realizes) Hey, I just cursed!
Toast: S**t! Well, what did you know?
Charity: We must be allowed to curse now.
Loud: (touches button) Hello!
(Instead of the familiar base, we see some sort of office as a man with black with gray highlights hair, black eyes, a 5 o'clock shadow on his face, and he wears a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic T-shirt, brown pants with pockets, white with gray sneakers, and a seashell necklace appears)
Man: Hey, dudes!
(Cut back to the Satellite of Time)
All: (shocked) GAH!
Loud: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!? WHERE'S STALIN AND FROGGO?!
(As the conversation continues, we keep going back and forth between the locations)
Man: Oooooh, you must be those hostages Stalin told me about. Yeah, for the record, I am Chris McClean, the host of the Total Drama series
Charity: Oh that, that douchebag host that torture campers, in a ripoff like Survivor and Amazing Race.
Chris: (annoyed) Yeah, thanks.
Pule: Wait, is your show still around?
Chris: I have gone on for six seasons and on hiatus. (smirks) But damn it, baby! I am hotter than ever!
Toast: But where's Stalin?
Chris: (annoyed) Getting to that, dude! Anyway, Stalin and his pal Froggo lost their funding when you "disappear" so I brought out everything they had, along with the satellite. Stalin told me someday you would come back. (Smirks) And looks like that day has come! Wow, what took ya?
Loud: How long have we been in stasis?
Chris: Let me see, your last experiment was 'Who Framed Sonic the Hedgehog', so... since August 11, 2007.
Toast: Dude... then what year is this?
Chris: We're nearing the end of 2015.
Charity: Oh my God! We're in 2015? THE 2015, the same year that Marty and Doc came back to!
Charity: Tell me, did we get hoverboards, flying cars, movies that had characters popping out of the screen automatically?
Chris: Er... not exactly. We do have hoverboards, but they barely work, we can't activate flying cars, and movies have been converted to 3D, but not all of them... only the important blockbusters.
Charity: (groans) I'm not happy...
Pule: But what changed during our time? And... why are you wearing a shirt that has ponies on it?
Chris: Oh, you noticed? (Smiles) During your stasis sleep, I've been getting into a little show called 'My Little Pony'...
Charity: (frowns) What? That show for little girls?
Chris: They rebooted it, and trust me, go on the internet, EVERYBODY loves ponies nowadays... speaking of which... that's your first movie for today...
Loud: Wait... wait, what? We just woke up from a long time stasis... AND the first thing you're going to do is show us more bad movies?
Chris: Hey, I didn't say I let you off easy! It's called "Sister Talks Back" by some guy cartoonfan22. No worries, it's short and enjoyable. (Smirks evilly) Or is it? BWA HA HA HA!
Pule: (slaps himself) Ugh! 8 years has passed and we're still watching bad movies!
Loud: (sighs) Here we go again.
(Suddenly a familiar movie sign flashes, making the group yelps)
All: MOVIE SIGN!
(Everyone runs as we go through the usual door sequence. Back in theater, the gang came in and sat down)
[Toast: So what Hell are we facing today?]
Sister Talks Back
[Loud: Oh, I guess Jewel finally snapped.]
Author's note: this is an Alternate Ending to
"A Canterlot Wedding Part 1"...
[Charity: We gotta watch this series sometimes, figure out what the heck's going on?]
Because Twilight is going to Talk Back to Her Brother, Her Friends, and Princess Celestia.
[Toast: Like a sailor, bitch!]
[Pule: Ha! Great to be swearing!]
[Loud: DON'T GET USE TO IT!]
“They May Take Our Lives, But They’ll Never Take Our Freedom!!!”
- William Wallace, from Braveheart
[Charity: (Scottish voice) I like to crap on my haggus!]
“Well You Had to Have it All, Well Have You Had Enough? You Greedy Jerks You,
[Loud: If Donald Trump was president.]
You'll Get What You Deserve”
[Pule: A swift kick in the butt.]
"You want to know why my eyes went all…?" He rattled his eyes as Twilight did. "Nuh!"
[Loud: Yeah, that's what we're feeling right now.]
He placed his hoof on his head in pain. "Because ever since I started having to perform my protection spell, I've been getting terrible migraines."
[Charity: So who are we looking at?]
[Toast: Uh, beats me. Must be the director.]
He began walking around Twilight. "Cadence hasn't been casting spells on me, she's been using her magic to heal me!" He emphasized.
Twilight inhaled, picking up her hoof in order to speak up, but Shining Armor continued to talk. "And
[Toast: (Twilight) Hey! Don't ever step on my lines!]
she decided to replace her bridesmaids because she found out the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding
[Pule: Is so they can have sex with one another!]
[Pule: Hey, finally, I get a chance to make sex comments and get away with it!]
[Charity: (annoyed) Don't get used to it.]
was so that they could meet Canterlot royalty!" As Shining Armor continued to explain everything to Twilight in a way that was obviously going to end bad, the rest of the girls could only return surprised and suspenseful looks.
[Loud: Yeah, they got to get to a beating later]
[Toast: Totally, dude.]
"And if she hasn't been on her best behavior with your friends," He slammed a hoof on the floor.
"It's because with me being so busy, she's had to make all the decisions about the wedding!"
[Charity: Like who to behead and who not to invite.]
[Toast: Or if she can have a male stripper later.]
[Loud: WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES!]
"I was just trying to—
"She's been completely stressed out
[Toast: For being in this film.]
because it's really important to her that her big day be perfect!" He slammed his hooves on the ground again as he interrupted Twilight. "Something that obviously wasn't important to you."
[Pule: Yeah, well, it isn't important to us either, whoever you are!]
Twilight with Had Enough of Not Being Able to Talk, She Yells at Him. “SHUT UP!!!”
Shining Armor was shocked to See Her Sister Yell at Him; Even Her Friends and Her Teacher were shocked.
[Loud: Yeah, how many times folks told me to shut up?]
[Charity: About a hundred, tiger.]
“LET ME TALK! First of All; You Weren’t There for Me When I Needed You, You Weren’t There for me on My Birthday, and I’m sure as Tartarus that You Weren’t There for me to Help Me Sympathy!!!!”
[Toast: (Twilight) And you weren't there when I was on my date with Celestia!]
[Loud: Uh, you do know they're both girls, right?]
[Toast: So? They are likely lesbians in this series anyway!]
Twilight Yelled at Her Brother for When He Wasn’t There for Her, Then Shining Armor Tried Talking to Her But She Interrupted Her Just Like When He Did That to Her.
[Loud: (Twilight) DID I SAY YOU CAN TALK, CAPTAIN OF THE LOSERS?!]
“You Never Cared about Me, My Grades in Magic School was Never Good Enough for You, My Love and Affection were Never Good Enough for you.”
[Charity: Nor did he cared about her birthdays and whatever the hell is going on in this series. Seriously, boys? We need to look it up.]
Shining Armor Almost Breaks into Tears; “Yes, They Were.”
“All that I Ever Wanted
[Pule: For Christmas...]
[All: (singing) Is my two front teeth!]
was for You Guys to Be Proud of Me; OF ME!!!!”
Shining Breaks into Tears and Cries,
“Twilight, You Better Stop that Anger Right NOW!!!” Rainbow Dash Said to Twilight in a Little Bit Moody Mood.
[Charity: (dryly) "Moody Mood"?]
[Pule: I guess the author didn't think that anyone would read this far.]
Now Twilight Walks to Her Friends and Started to Talk to Them (Which Would Make Sense)
[Toast: Because it would be too stupid to talk to them near her stubborn brother.]
“You All Never Cared for Me, You All Just Try to Use Me for Your Own Purposes, and You girls brag on how good you girls are every day. You, Rarity brag about how awesome your dresses are,
[Loud: And you brag that you're a better lover that you make everyone fall in love with you!]
[Toast: Dude, makes sense. That pony is hot!]
[Charity: (annoyed) Don't you boys start!]
[Pule: (wolf whistles)]
[Charity: You too, El Wolfo!]
You, Applejack brags about how delicious her apples taste, You, Pinkie really brags on how astounding her parties are not to mention how she keeps telling about her delicious sweets, You, Rainbow Dash REALLY REALLY brags on how you’re Awesome and All That Junk, and You, Flutershy… uh, I got nothing on her. She takes care of pets real well so she gets an exception.”
[Toast: Thank God! The last one is too pretty to be hated.]
The Five of Them were all in worried looks with Twilight Almost Become Trixie
[Loud: So she turns into a human girl who snubbed Timmy Turner who has fairies.]
[Pule: Make sense to me.]
“and You Know What I Think of Your Stetson Applejack?”
[Pule: It's her hat, guys.]
[Toast: (annoyed) Well, they should've just said that!]
She Grabs Applejack’s Stetson and Uses Magic to Burn it into Flames, With Applejack in Despair, She Went Down on Her Knees and Grabs the Ashes of Her Stetson and Cries of Her Loss,
[Pule: (Applejack) My Stetson! NOOOOO! Why God, why?!]
Twilight them Walked to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.
“By The Way Pinkie and Rainbow, Your Parties, Pranks, The Wonderbolts, and Bragging All Totally Sucks!!!!
[Charity: Just like this film we're watching.]
After Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Both Heard that, Pinkie went into Sad Mode with Her Hair Deflating like back in When She Thought Her Friends is Not Pinkie’s Friends Anymore But This Time She went into Maximum Sadness Overdrive and Cried like there’s No Tomorrow,
[Toast: Gah! We're in Cupcakes!]
[Loud: Now how would you know that? We haven't seen this before.]
[Toast: Dude, lucky guess?}
While Rainbow Dash, She was So Ticked and Sad that Her Former Friend Told Her that Pinkie’s Parties, The Pranks, & The Wonder-bolts Sucked, She was Filled with Anger and Sadness, But She Didn’t Cry,
[Charity: Because Tom Boys don't cry...lesbians on the other hand...]
and She was Angry; She Punched Twilight in the Eye.
“It Hurts, Doesn’t It?” Rainbow Dash Responded
[Pule: Anyone wants a Hurts Donut?]
[Toast: (throws a rock at Pule, making him yelp in pain] Hurts, don't it?]
[Pule: I mean from me!]
[Toast: Hey, I was making sense, dude!]
"Not as Painful When I Do This!” Twilight Responded and Then Proceeded with a Hard Kick to the Skull, Rainbow Dash’s Head was bleeding very badly, but she can still stand;
[Charity: Who does this mare thinks she is? The Bionic Man?]
[Toast: Put a wallet under her tongue!]
Then Twilight Then Walked to Rarity
“Let’s See What Can We Do with Your Hair?”
Then Twilight Grabs Rarity’s Hair with Her Magic and Then Uses Her Magic to Grab the Scissors and Shavers to rid of… I Mean Fix Rarity’s Hair, and its Not Very Pretty.
Twilight Uses Her Magic to Grab the Mirror and Show it to Rarity and Rarity’s Reaction to a Haircut was Not Very Pretty.
[Pule: (Rarity) AHHHH! I TURNED INTO BETTE MIDLER!]
Rarity Screamed Very Loud and Went into Freak-Out Mode.
“MY HAIR! MY HAIR!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU RUIN MY HAIR!!!”
[Pule: Hey, it's mane, sister.]
Twilight Looked at Her Friends in Despair and Sadness Except Fluttershy; She Passed Fluttershy,
[Loud: For being the most cutest in this film so far.]
Because She Never Brags Anything about Her, So She Gets a Pass.
Twilight Walks to Her #1 Assistant and Told Her the Bad News Dragon.
[Toast: Bad news. You aren't getting sex tonight.]
[Pule: (Spike) Noooooooo!]
"Spike, I’m Sorry to Say This, But I’m Afraid that I Don’t Need You Anymore, I’m Replacing You with a New Assistant that Would Be Better than You.”
[Toast: And you were adopted.]
[Pule: (Spike) Noooooooo!]
Spike was Ultimately Shocked to Hear This; He went on His Knees and Feet and Cried with Misery.
[Charity: I would too if I saw Kathy Bates in that film.]
Twilight Walks to Her Teacher, The Princess that Help Her Be the Student that she is today, Now Going to Talk Back to Her Teacher with Her Friends and Shining Armor Looking At Her in Worried Expressions.
“Well Princess Celestia, You May Be Princess,
[Loud: (Twilight) But you ain't getting any from me tonight!]
But I Saw Every pony’s Lives Lost in War and Battle, Seeing Their Families Suffer in Sadness, Seeing That You CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!
[Loud: I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO YELLS AROUND HERE!]
You Never Love My Friends or Me, You Just Want to Do Political Stuff, So You’ll Won’t Have Time for Me; Why Can’t You Have a Heart and Quit Being a Princess, I Never Wanted to Be a Princess, I Want to Be a Teacher of Magic Arts, But I Realized that’s Never Going to Happen; Cause You Made Me a
STUDENT, I Bet Princess Luna would make a Better Princess than You.”
[Pule: What? They're bringing Sailor Moon in this too?!]
[Loud: All right, we're looking it up when we're done, find out what we miss definitely!]
Princess Celestia was shocked to See Her Own Former Pupil Talk Back to Her Like That, Her Former Friends and Former Brother Look at This in Shock, Sadness, and Depression.
When Twilight Was About to Walk Out, She Says This Speech “Now That I’m Leaving Canterlot
[Charity: (Twilight) And moving to a better film!)
and Moving from Ponyville to a Different Place, Know This,
[Toast: (Twilight) But I decided, hell no! Screw you all, bitches!]
A Family is Where They Take Care Each Other and Love Them No Matter What, Even When You’re a Uncle, an Aunt, Cousin, or a Grandma,
[Pule: And a stepdad, a stepmom, and anything giving two craps about.]
A Family Will Never Die;
[Loud: But some members of rock and roll apparently will.]
But For My Family, This One is Dead, and All of You Guys are Too. I Lost Everything I Had in The Process of Being Mad at You Guys; I Guess I Don’t Need You Guys Anymore.”
Twilight Then Walked Out of this Room in Sadness, Despair, Anger, and Depression that She Lost Her Brother, Her Friends, and Her Favorite Teacher.
[Toast: So the hell with them!]
[Charity: Well, we're done. Time to go.]
(The gang got up and left the theater. We go through the door sequence. Once we're done, we see the gang looking on the computer and on YouTube)
Loud: Well, we will need to do a lot of research before looking at a "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" story again.
Toast: Dude, frankly, Twilight Sparkle is one awesome babe. I hope she kicks ass in the show.
Charity: Probably did. (Points) She is now an Alicorn.
Charity: I will tell you later.
Loud: Well, that's the experiment for today. (Mad sign flashing) Oh, hey Chris. Seriously? Sending us a movie we got no clue about?
(We go back to Chris's office as he smirks)
Chris: Yeah, but it helps to torture you...and I got more films just like it. (rubs hands evilly) And it's going to get nasty! BWA HA HA HA HA! (coughs) Okay, I ate a bug! Ugh!
directed by: JUSSONIC
produced by: JUSSONIC
written by: JUSSONIC
board owned by: Luke
toast: TRESS MACNEILLE
charity bazaar: LARAINE NEWMAN
loud kiddington: CODY RUEGGER
pule houser: FRANK WELKER
chris mcclean: CHRISTIAN POTENZA
“Let’s See What Can We Do with Your Hair?”
A/N: All right, I am back, baby! Read and review!