- Text Size +
Story Notes:
I do not own Marvel nor any of its affiliated characters and settings. Any original characters, original settings, and the plot are the property of myself.
Author's Chapter Notes:

I’m pretty sure I was on crack (kidding, honest) and running on no sleep when I wrote this, so it’s safe to say that there is no plot but lots of silliness. Also, AnkeaEnkeli was the one who gave me the original idea that helped stir up this little drabble, so thank you for that!

Awkward Times Two



You groaned as you curled into the fetal position while cradling the large heating pad over your abdomen. Unfortunately, your period had decided to pay a visit during the most inopportune moment - an intense training session with Natasha - and she had had no sympathy for you. After causing a mess in the exercise room and making your cramps ten times worse, you finally managed to convince Natasha that you needed to stop for the day and lie down.

The most embarrassing moment of it all was when Thor happened upon you as you ran out of the training room to find the nearest bathroom. Not knowing what had transpired and seeing you bent over in pain with blood all over your pants, he had gone into a bit of a panic. You had merely told him that you had an emergency and would explain everything to him at a later time then hauled ass down the hallway.

One hour and a long, relaxing shower later, you were settled into the comforts of your own bed, but before you could begin to start enjoying the peace, your door slammed open, startling you into a sitting position.

“(First Name)!” Thor’s voice bounced off the walls of your bedroom. “I’ve come to make sure your injuries have not worsened.”

You sighed to yourself then flopped rearward onto your bed, the back of your head resting on your pillow. “Thor, I’m fine. I’m not hurt, and can you knock the next time? I could’ve been buckass naked.”

“My apologies. I meant no disrespect. I’m merely concerned for your well-being.” Thor sat on the side of the bed. Because of his weight, your body rolled to the side until you hit his hip. “Where are your wounds?”

“Thor, I told you I’m okay. I don’t have any injuries.”

“Was that not blood on your clothing earlier?”

“It was, but it’s not the kind of blood that you’re thinking of.”

Thor appeared baffled. “Do… mortals have a variety of blood types?”

“Nooo,” you whined, and then you stopped suddenly. “... Well, kind of, but… I’m fine, okay? Really, I am.”

“I do not believe you.”

Aggravated, you sat up with the heating pad still pressed against your lower abdomen. You found it hard to believe that Thor had never had to experience the monthly cycles of a woman given how old he was, but you also had no idea how periods worked for women in Asgard due to how long they were able to live. For all you knew, Asgardian women could have no periods, and instead, they have some bizarre mating season that they go through every year.

Thor eyed up your heating pad. “So, you’ve injured your midsection. Have you properly decontaminated and dressed it?” he asked you.

Thor!” You sighed loudly. “Okay, do you remember that… thing… that you brought into the meeting room a few days ago?”

“The tampon?”

“Yes, the tampon… Do you remember what it’s used for?”

Thor stroked the stubble on his chin for a moment, and then you watched his face light up, as though a light bulb had gone off in his head.

“Ah, yes! For when you mortals have nosebleeds, correct?”

“Wha - No! I told you not to believe anything that Tony says to you!” You adjusted yourself to be in a more comfortable sitting position with your legs dangling off the side of your bed. “Listen, I don’t know how all of this works for women in Asgard, but humans have a cycle that happens every month. We have two little ovaries, and every month or so, one of them releases an egg. That little egg makes it feel as though my lady bits are being ripped out of me.”

Thor appeared alarmed. “Has someone cast a curse on you? Do you need any assistance?”

“... I obviously need to give you the details… Okay, we have two ovaries, and each month one of them releases an egg, like I mentioned before. That egg goes on a good ol’ jolly stroll down a tube. If we get pregnant, the egg attaches itself to us, and if not, the egg does not attach itself to us then proceeds to TEAR DOWN OUR INSIDES AND KILL US SLOWLY.” You paused dramatically. “But, not really… We just bleed for a few days and get very bad cramps.”

“... So, you are not dying?” Thor asked after digesting the information.

“Nope.”

“I see. Well, as long as you are going to live, I will let you rest alone. Do not hesitate to call on me if you need support.”

“I don’t need help. I don’t have a disease.”

He bid you farewell and left you alone to relax. Explaining the menstrual cycle to Thor had gone a lot smoother than you thought it was going to go. For once, he hadn’t unknowingly caused a scene and embarrassed you in front of all of your coworkers. Sighing contently, you nestled back into your comfy bed and dozed off.

~

Later that night, Thor had woken you up with dinner, and then the two of you watched a movie afterwards. The next morning, you woke up, showered, dressed, and were ready for the day. You made your way to the meeting room for the routine morning conference. Because you had overslept a bit, you were the last one to arrive. Even Thor had figured out S.H.I.E.L.D’s labyrinth before you made it to the meeting.

“Good morning, everyone,” you said as you sat down in your seat between Natasha and Clint.

“(First Name), I am glad to see you well. Have your ovaries ceased giving you problems?” Thor asked you with genuine concern in his voice.

Steve covered his face with his hand as Tony’s howling laughter echoed through the room.

That was it. You were done explaining things to Thor.

You must login (register) to review.